ONLY GOD WILL JUDGE ME

Sometimes I feel like I could fight
Stupid me, I know I would never win,
Other times here is no hope in sight
And maybe, I’ll always be in the state I’m in.

Sometimes I awake and clear is the day
Cheerful, I feel none can call me guilty,
Other times I see illusions, all is gray
Fearful, yet relieved I did not test my ability.

Sometimes I want to scream what’s true
Smart? Coward? I think I’m only afraid of me,
Other times I am weary, I sit and rue
Not wanting, yet hoping someone will see.

Sometimes I am so easily in denial
Try not to cry, shut my eyes made myself blind,
Other times I ask who will judge my trial
Can’t succeed, can’t ignore, can’t fool the teary mind.

Sometimes I rejoice in my charade
Believing it am I lost forever or am I confused,
Other times, I hide in my own sorry shade
Trapped in my own self, in my own hands abused.

Sometimes I for love, look around
Unabashed, unfettered I whore away my desire,
Other times I am locked in, make nor hear no sound
Awakened, I realize inside me burns no fire.

Sometimes I look for one who can make it right
With whom, I can be I till curtains are brought down,
Other times I shy away from love’s probing light
Blinded, raped of all my secrets, I feel like a clown.

Sometimes I am cheered by my ambition
Optimistic, enlightened I feel like the chosen few,
Other times I doubt if I can ever transition
This is how, that is why I don’t feel nor look so new.

Sometimes I am tempted by the blade
Never mind even to end it all I am too useless,
Other times I, to desire, farewell bade
Celebrations! Jubilations! May be one day…God bless!

Sometimes I find my wound start to peel
Look around, breathe in, life’s a tough yet big field
That same day I am glad, I start to heal
I stand Accused, however to the cruel rules I will not yield.

 ONLY GOD WILL JUDGE ME

Splitsvilla??Boredvilla

OK. Its that time of the year again.MTV is ready with a new reality show,rather a new season of an old show.Its called  Splitsvilla, the tag line reads- where love is war!

Wow!Now if that doesnt make u want to stay home on a saturday evening i dont know what will. (ok, ok i had nothing better to  do!) Also the very interesting promos of girls in bikinis beating each other black and blue was attention grabbing.And yeah,  the concept is also kind of fun, especially to our sorry selves bored by singing and dancing reality shows.Hats off to MTV  
for originality, something they have always exceled at.Its not like this is the first time i'm catching the show. Last year too ,i followed the show and my friends and we did talk  
about it a couple of times. But truth be told, I always thought the entire show was kinda cheesy.Especially last year, some  15 girls would have to, just have to like the 2 guys out there.I mean - why??I dont think any of the girls really did like either of the guys , except maybe Shraddha, whose devotion for Vishal was almost embarrassing to watch. Also pretty sure none  
of them came to find love, neither did the guys. No matter how much the boys claim otherwise, they were just there enjoying  absolute freedom to gawk at girls in their skimpiest best,judge them while they parade,pose in bikinis and dance erotically,  
all the while pretending that are looking for that oh-so-pure-and-oh-i-am-so-thirsty-for-it L.O.V.E.Seriously guys, who are u  kidding?I mean outside of the show none of the girls would have even looked at you.Ok maybe Vishal,not so much at the other,  
whats-his-name guy.But still you know, through all of that pretentions,hypocrisy and lame tests judging "qualities that every  guy looks for in a girlfriend" the show was really interesting.MTV had it going on last season. The show was really well cast, the girls were quite hot, they all had interesting personalities and yes there were moments in the show that were  
reality show treasure trove.First of all the show at that time was one of a kind,albeit a safer, more morally sensitive and  indianized version of Temptation Island.It was airing at a time when even MTV had nothing better to offer, it had to fill up  the time slot of Roadies.Also it would have given Rannvijay an oppurtunity to host something other than Roadies,it would have  
given some fame hungry ladies quality air time. and yes it would have made some very lonely men very very happy.The show  started of great, Goa was a perfect setting to find and fall in love,a place as desirable as any other privileges love has to  offer. The girls were introduced one by one, you started counting and trying to recall the names of the girls you found hot.Then the guys were introduced, then the girls were introduced to the guys, blah blah blah…. The show was yet to catch on. We find the interesting concept of a pretty young thing being dumped every night by the guys, also the lame but yet funny games by which the girls can endear themselves to the guys and the prospect of some ppl actually making a connection in this whole chaotic make believe world very ..well..interesting. I mean that made for some good tv. Then the entrance of the boob intensive Priyanka and the entire imbroglio that followed regarding her fake/real assets everything made for a show that you would actually watch. Yes there were some really cheesy moments, I especially found the dates to be incredibly dumb and the whole last episode of vishal and the other, whats-his-name guy doing a strip tease (eye cringing material I tell you), also the guys cudnt answer even the simplest of questions. Vishal u sure u used to fly a plane , I mean u sure it wasn’t just a toy you played with in the bathtub?? My point is that through it all the show was interesting, it definitely got a huge nod from the sponsors going by the lengthy ad breaks, and I know for a fact that it clicked with the targeted audience- the youth.

So MTV decided to air 2nd season of splitsvilla. This time it was made a bit more risque (--eee add some more ee's for that zazzy fake french pronunciation), there will be a group of guys going after a group of girls, so a sexually,balanced diet! I still sigh at the time change of Roadies but I was looking forward to splitsvilla2. But as the title of this blog wud suggest I was disappointed. The show was boringggggggg a big snooze fest. Cmon MTV! What happened? Some of the great creative minds taking longer lunch breaks that they are supposed to, is that what it is? The girls are not hot at all, I don’t know who did the casting, some gay guy could have picked better looking girls, none of them have great personalities. The guys look like they all spent their entire lives in the gym, working out to get chests that look like boobs, and waxing saloons. I’m sorry but each one of the guy is the quintessential dumb stud , you know the “himbo” that Seinfeld was referring to. (Himbo- a man bimbo!) The voting zone also sucked, the tropical feel was not just there , it looked like any other normal beach . You know something guys, fire on top of big sticks don’t always look good. The entire show was a big blabbering boring mess. Also I hate saying this but I dnt think nikhil is the right vj for this show. I kinda missed rannvijay’s straight talk and clear hindi. I don’t know how the show is going to turn out to be in the next couple of weeks but if morning shows the day, guys dnt wake up, it’s a lazy boring morning. 

Bring back Roadies at its normal time. I have things to do on Sundays. (Dat was my silent protest)!

Welcome Me!!!

Well this just plain cheesy and kinda crazy, but here goes...

A big heyyaaaaaaaa to me and my first ever blogging attempt.

psst.. just trying out some font settings...bear with me