Thursday, December 31, 2009

Fucking great year

can someone pls explain what the hell is so grt about a new year???
what is it that ppl think ...that they can erase the mistakes of the past and just move on??may be not go for the job u were never suited for in the first place?may be talk better to you parents?? may be the coming yr u wud be a better judge abt ppl, and not trust the assholes that u trusted and got burned.. not let down the ppl who actually cared abt u, is it the fact that u r all full of expectations and jubilations that in the coming yr u would actually learn things u wanted to learn for so long .. like driving..like swimming.. or maybe just fucking know how to live ur life??? what is it abt the new fucking yr???????
i recall when i was a kid all i used to think abt during 31st is all the good programs im going to watch on tv... may be a musical ...may be a dance concert or may be just plain old goofy comedy shows..all i know is that i was happy just staying awkae till midnight and be allowed to watch tv till then... it didnt matter that in not one single yr i was able to succeed .. i was fast asleep by 11 o clock.. and then my father would take me to bed where i would be asleep till 8 next yr.. that was my saying goodbye to the old and bidding welcome the new. those were simpler times... those were times when u didnt have to think abt where to go for a party where u didnt have to stand in queue for 30 hellish minutes so that the guy would sell u the bacardi white u were waiting for the whole day.. those were times where u didnt have to spend ur new yr all alone.. in ur room.. nothign to do thaty vent ur frustation in some stupid blog which in all probability U would nerver read in the first place...
so coming back to the origianl point of view.. the charm of new yr.. i was waiting in queue to buy that drink..(as i already recall mentioning)...and i had a chance to look around. right next to where i was standing was a bad ol stinking fish shop... anyother time any other place i would shriek and get out of a place that smelled even a bit like fish... and here i was standing right next to a store which had in abundance alive and dead fish(both equally bad smelling). was it the anticipation of the coming drink or was it just the new year...i blame the new yr
this guy right behind me was farting really big and smelly ones..i tolerated. was it the anticipation of the coming drink or was it just the new year...i blame the new yr...
i was in a queue bigger than any fucking queue i have ever been in a lifetime..i tolerated. was it the anticipation of the coming drink or was it just the new year...i blame the new yr...

i am at home.. all alone.. even after 3 big drinks the stupid bacardi isnt working.. i am still not remotely drunk.. oh hell i am writing in a foreign language.. not picking up any body;'s call.. i am actually my old self. is it the stupid bacardi that came with a free body deo.. called the celebration pack.. maybe the bottle is filled with water.fuxcking celebration indeed!
anyways if i recall correctly .. i was trying to figure out the charm of the new year. it is not the charm of the new year.. but it is the whole resilience and optimism and hope of human nature. things that get us going and things that ruin and scandalize us. i recover again and again aftr each blow.. knowing i could never be like any of my frmds.. i think that it doesnt matter.. if i survived till now i would be able to survive later on too.. i hope that after some time thigns would change.. that after some time.. i wuld get what i am waiting for a long time now. that i would getb a job. that i would do that job not because i need a salary in the end but because i want to do that job.
RESILIENCE, OPTIMISM,HOPEE!!!!
so this year i resolute(is that even a word????)...
1. i would not repeat the mistakes of the last year.
2. i would not plan to learn driving... cause frankly speaking i dont want to..
3. i would not want to learn swimming.. i mean come on.. when someone makes a pool filled with gorbatshow.. call me... i would pick up swimmg in a minute.

and like every one else out there...even i conferss....last yr was a fucking grt year... and the comong yr would be fucing good too..